You know when you read something and you wonder how the author crawled under your skin, deep inside, hitting every nerve along the way until your soul was found? Well, that’s what happened to me earlier this week when my friend, Kat, who always senses what I may be needing, shared an article from the Elephant Journal blog called She Was Done.
In the posting, the author Adrienne Pieroth lists all of the things she is done with starting with, “She was done not fully being herself.” That caught my attention because over the past few years, I had felt that gnawing deep inside myself. There had to be more than just meeting the expectations of others or just busting a gut 24/7 to “make” things happen.
There had to be things inside of me that hadn’t been unleashed. There had to be days when playing or doing whatever I wanted to do would be just fine and I wouldn’t have to explain it to anyone. There would have to be a time when someone asks, “But what do you do all day?” and I wouldn’t cringe because I wasn’t doing stuff that “looked” productive or made a statement. There would be a time that it would be okay to slow down and switch directions after forty-plus years of working and do away with those damn flying monkeys that try to convince me that “with it”, savvy women always work and go ninety miles an hour as if that’s a badge of honor.
It is possible for me to be myself fully but first, I have to allow it and make the space for it to happen.
As I read Adrienne’s article, I saw some other of her “done with” items where I said, “Me, too,” like:
She was done striving, forcing, pushing through and staying on the hard path. She realized toughing things out might be a sign to pick another path.
She was done not following the desires that yelled out in her soul every day. She realized if she did nothing about them, they died a quiet death that took a piece of her soul with them.
She was done apologizing and playing small to make others feel comfortable and fit in. She realized fitting in was overrated and shining her light made others brave enough to do the same.
She was done being tired. She realized it came from spending her time doing things that didn’t bring her joy or feed her soul.
Could it be that easy? Could the beginning be the start of just making a list of all those things you are done with regardless of what phase the moon is in, how the stars are lined up, or what you have to do to make a living? Could making the list alone – not when you’re angry, feeling vindictive or totally depressed – set the intention that there are things in your life that can really fall by the wayside and perhaps give you a new sense of freedom, a new door to open, a new place to explore, or permission to be YOU? Sounds good, doesn’t it?
I’m making my list and adding to it until I feel the last drop of “done with” is out. I am thinking that reviewing it several times a week will keep it in my consciousness in the event I backslide a bit. Pretty soon, the empty spaces will be filled with “want to” stuff because it feeds my soul.
What about you? Need to make a list and encourage yourself to be “done with” some things? Care to share some of them?
And, be sure to check out the full posting by Adrienne Pieroth on ElephantJournal.com – She Was Done
Five provocative questions answered by an inspiring and fabulous woman – a woman with something to say.
Meet Tonya Parker
Tonya Parker blends experiences as a psychotherapist, prevention specialist, professor, corporate trainer, and conscious caterer with certifications in massage, natural wellness, aromatherapy, and metaphysics to create Mind, Body & Spiritworks—a harmony of flavors featuring divinely inspired and assisted holistic wellness workshops, sacred retreats and events, meditation and healing circles, massage and Reiki energy healing, conscious communication coaching, radio show (Mind Body & Soul Food), monthly blog (Mind Body & Soul Food Meanderings), and meditation CD (Meditative Morsels). She has contributed to various magazines and anthologies, and recently completed recording a New Thought young adult novel, Diary of a Witch’s Daughter. Tonya is always in gratitude for her gifts of healing, teaching, and writing to help feed the mind, body, and spirit.
People would be surprised to know that: Upon receiving the name “Throat Chakra Shaman” from Spirit, I realized that this expressive, creative energy has shown up for decades in my various career paths, and it colors much more of who I am and what I do. I LOVE language–writing and word games have been a favorite pastime since childhood, I often sing to my students in the classroom, I make up words and puzzles and reinvent songs. I create with words.
The WTL 5:
What’s the conversation that changed your life?
I’ve had many life-changing conversations. One of the most profound occurred in 2009. I was in crisis and seeking support from my friend, mentor, and spiritual teacher, bemoaning about feeling pigeon-holed as a massage therapist, not knowing what my next step was as a healer. He told me that it didn’t matter what healing modality I chose—I was the healing. All I had to do was show up and be my authentic self. This insight has brought me such freedom, as well as the knowledge that all that I do, and all that I Am, is sacred, and enough.
What are you most conscious of today?
Today I am most conscious of my inner Divinity and how it shows up. I check in with myself and ask various questions. Am I speaking, healing, teaching, and responding from a place of love vs. fear? Am I seeing myself reflected in others vs. finding separation from them? Am I remembering that as the physical essence of Mother-Father God, I am enough? Am I remembering to breathe? Am I taking myself too seriously? Am I connecting to Source to guide my steps? Am I honoring Earth Mother? Am I feeling gratitude for everything, no matter how it shows up?
What part of you have you yet to give voice to?
There’s a question mark about what I still have yet to give voice to. I plan, Spirit laughs. In my twenties I thought I was going to be a counselor for the rest of my life. When I went to massage school I thought I would have something fun to do in retirement. When I quit a great job as a trainer, I knew after a short hiatus, I would be back working in corporate America, or at least another non-profit. Ha! My path has been rich and meandering, and I AM open to where I have yet to go!
What’s the conversation women need to be having collectively?
I’ve been blessed to attract into my life amazing women with whom I’ve had amazing conversations, where we get caught up in the vortex and look up, incredulous, hours later. I believe women need to have conversations that are loving, empowering, encouraging, uplifting, humorous, releasing, tearful—you name it. Sometimes it’s not about the content, but the delivery. Do we feel heard? Do we feel loved unconditionally? Do we feel that we can let down our hair (if we choose to have hair) and be authentic, and real with our sisters without being judged?
What needs to be said bigger, louder, stronger?
I invite anyone to join me in a continuous big, loud, strong voice—THERE IS NO SEPARATION AMONG US! The outer illusions have held us all back in our soul evolution for far too long. Peering through the Divine lens, I see no barriers such as race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, socioeconomic status, veganism etc. Rev Taylor Thompson said, “When one of us is hurt, we all hurt. When one is oppressed, we all are oppressed. When one of us is healed, we all are healed.” I am here on this planet as an instrument of love and healing.
Thank you, Tonya, for sharing your powerful voice
with WomanTalk Live