Ann Quasman's WomanTalkLive A more conscious conversation

Articles from the WomanTalk Live Experts: Week of May 13th

Check out the great articles and tips from the WomanTalk Live Experts this week:

WellPower: Try This Grain – Polenta
The Clinical Nutrition Team at Saint Agnes Hospital
Polenta is coarsely or finely ground yellow or white cooked cornmeal…

More Than Money: Is Risk-Aversion Risking Your Future?
Leonard Raskin, CEO, Raskin Global
Not long ago, our friends Lori and Bob Hollander of Relationships Works…

Relationship Recharge: How to Respond When You’ve Hurt Him
Lori & Bob Hollander, Relationships Work
“When a man is able to connect with his feelings, he is able to care more.” -Warren Farrell…

Passion and Purpose: Interview/Meeting Debrief
Betsy Cerulo, CEO, AdNet AccountNet, Inc.
Over the past few months, we have been examining doing what you need to do to find a new position…

The Spark Factory: Creativity’s Dark Night of the Soul
Susan Bishop, Unlocked Box
Many of you know that I’m a huge fan of Project Runway…

♥ LUV KiCK: How You Live Your Life
TimeToKickButs.com
If it no longer serves you…

Women in History: Did You Know?
The Maryland Women’s Heritage Center
Do you know what Sybil Ludington’s claim to fame is?

WellPower: Try This Grain – Polenta

The Clinical Nutrition Team at Saint Agnes Hospital

Polenta is coarsely or finely ground yellow or white cooked cornmeal. Polenta has a legacy dating back to the 1700’s when it was made popular in Italy. It was considered peasant food because it was plentiful and cheap. To make it, ground, dried corn is boiled in water or broth to create its creamy texture (similar to porridge) that has a mild, nutty corn flavor. Polenta is full of nutrients, including protein and fiber. It is a low carbohydrate food rich in vitamin A and C making it a good source of caroteinoids and lutein. 1 cup of polenta has only 145 calories, 3 grams protein, 3 grams fiber, 1 gram of fat and no cholesterol.

Polenta is a wonderful dish that goes with breakfast, lunch and dinner entrees and it can be served hot or cold, soft or hard making it one the most versatile foods. Since polenta is gluten free it can easily replace wheat-based meals. Polenta firms up when cooled and can be cut into squares for grilling, sautéing or baking. Tubes of polenta are sold in the produce section of grocery stores to make preparation simple. Polenta can be made into bite-sized appetizers, used as a side dish to meat or fish or a main vegetarian entrée topped with vegetables and beans.

Here’s to making a nutritious and yummy food choice,

The well4life® Team
well4lifeprogram.com

*****

Want more great health tips and inspiration to achieve your wellness goals? Subscribe to WellPower, our monthly e-newsletter. Visit www.well4lifeprogram.com to sign up.

If you’d like even more support for your weight loss goals, attend a free well4life® information session at Saint Agnes Hospital. For session dates and to register, call 1-866-690-9355.

More Than Money: Is Risk-Aversion Risking Your Future?

Leonard Raskin

Not long ago, our friends Lori and Bob Hollander of Relationships Works (who also happen to be the Relationship Experts for WomanTalk Live) presented a very enlightening Women Getting Wise On Wealth seminar on the differences between women and men when it comes to money – especially, in terms of solving conflicts.

Today, though, we want to take a closer look at the female side of the equation. Why certain attitudes about money – attitudes that are common to many women – can do far more than cause conflict. They can actually cause financial devastation for the woman.

While this may seem like a dramatic statement to make, what we’re saying is that it’s our attitudes about our finances, and not our financial realities, that can actually do the most damage to our finances.

According to a November 2012 Forbes magazine article:

“The differences between the sexes in terms of money attitude may seem small or relatively unimportant (e.g. the fact that women worry more about their financial health than men) but the impact…is enormous.”

The differences Forbes points to are very likely what you might expect, simply because you’ve heard it many times before in many other articles. Specifically:

• Women avoid risk more than men, which can stop us from investing in our financial futures.
• Women worry more than men about the effect of money on a relationship – specifically, what will happen if we earn more than men – which can cause us to limit our earning power (even unconsciously).
• Women worry more about financial health, but still lag behind in confidence and decision-making.

We hope you’ll take a minute to read more about these differences in Forbes’, Women And Money: Why They Avoid Risk And Lack Confidence When Making Decisions. But even more, if you feel any of the above attitudes apply to you, we want you to see beyond those phrases we’re all so used to hearing when it comes to women and money (e.g. “risk adverse,” and “lack of confidence”) and deeper into what they imply – and, then, we want you to ask yourself two potentially game-changing questions:

1. Why am I holding onto attitudes about money that don’t match up with the truth about my strength and ability as a woman?
2. When am I going to choose to be confident?

If you’re willing to take a really hard look at your own attitudes about money, what you might discover is that what’s actually lagging behind is not so much our ability to make financial decisions, but our image of ourselves. Because the truth is that where women are today in relation to financial matters, no longer matches up with the attitudes many of us are holding on to – attitudes that we’ve adopted from another time in history and from outdated cultural norms that are, well, no longer the norm.

The good news is that our attitude is one thing we have immediate control over. By educating ourselves we can re-discover our sense of control faster than we might think and soon find ourselves in a totally new perspective about money. The next time we read an article like the one from Forbes, we might even say, “Thank goodness that no longer applies to me.”

To getting wiser,

Leonard Raskin
Women Getting Wise on Wealth from Raskin Global
443-212-1122

***

Get the TOP 10 FEMALE FEARS ABOUT MONEY absolutely FREE when you enter your email address on our website (just look for the GET RICH IN KNOWLEDGE box at the top right).

We’ll also keep you up-to-date on our popular FREE seminar series – so visit www.WomenGettingWiseonWealth.com today!

Raskin Global is a team of highly experienced financial planners who believe you deserve more than financial advice. You deserve to be confident and inspired so that you can take charge of your own future and make the wisest decisions possible in all areas of your life. To talk with us about all the ways you can take charge of your finances and create the life you want, give us call at 443-212-1122.

Leonard P. Raskin, Registered Representative and Financial Advisor of Park Avenue Securities, LLC (PAS), 954 Ridgebrook Road, Suite 300, Sparks, MD 21152.  Securities products/services and advisory services are offered through PAS, a registered broker-dealer and investment advisor, (410)828-5400.  Field Representative, The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America (Guardian), New York, New York. PAS is an indirect, wholly-owned subsidiary of Guardian.  Raskin Global is not an affiliate or subsidiary of PAS or Guardian. PAS is a member of FINRA, SIPC.

Relationship Recharge: How to Respond When You’ve Hurt Him

Lori & Bob Hollander

“When a man is able to connect with his feelings, he is able to care more.”
-Warren Farrell

Seth and Avery came in for their first counseling session with Bob.

Seth: I knew we had problems communicating and sometimes we’d argue, but I was shocked when Avery said she wanted a divorce.

Avery: I’ve been telling him for years that I was unhappy and he never got it, until now, when I said I was done. I just don’t feel the connection. I love him but I am not “in love” with him anymore.

Seth: Is that when you started to talk to your old boyfriend on Facebook?

Avery: Yes, but nothing really happened; we just texted each other and met up for lunch once.

Seth: 500 texts is “nothing?” And meeting up for lunch! How would you feel if I met up with my old girlfriend for lunch?!

Avery (to Bob): You see. I can’t talk to him. All he does is get angry.

Bob: What you think is under his anger?

Avery: I don’t know.

Bob: He is hurt. He feels wounded that you would reach out to another man.

Avery: He doesn’t get hurt, he only gets angry.

Bob: It may look that way because men don’t show their hurt the way women do. Women may say they feel sad or cry, but when men hurt they stuff it and withdraw, or they cover it up with anger so they don’t feel vulnerable. It’s often difficult for men to express their pain, but that doesn’t mean it is not there.

“When I was growing up, I wasn’t taught how to feel or communicate feelings.”
-Jeremy Renner

Often in practice we see women who don’t understand that men can feel deeply wounded and hurt, just like women. It’s vital for women to understand and respond to their partner’s pain. Here are three tips to respond to a man when he is hurting:

1)   Believe that men do feel hurt, just like women.  Although he may not talk about or openly express his feelings, or cry when he has emotional pain, he hurts every bit as much as you do.

2)  Ask him what he is thinking about, not what he is feeling.  Men have an easier time expressing their thoughts than their feelings generally so drawing out what he is thinking may work best to get the conversation started.

3)  Vocalize and validate the feelings for him.  Reflect the feelings you believe he is expressing, e.g. “I can see that I really hurt you.” And empathize with his pain.

Watch this video to hear Lori and Bob talk more in depth about men’s hurting.

Create a more intimate relationship using our most popular audio program below:

The 7 Secrets of Emotional & Erotic Intimacy

We would love to hear your thoughts about managing conflict in your relationship on our Facebook page.

Sign up for our monthly eNewsletter, Radical Relationships, to receive more articles from us about the Truth about Relationships.

To Your Extraordinary Relationship,

Lori and Bob Hollander
Relationships Work

***

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Be sure to check out all of our other resources to build your relationship in our Store & Explore.

Passion and Purpose: Interview/Meeting Debrief

Betsy Cerulo

Over the past few months, we have been examining doing what you need to do to find a new position – your new passion, maybe?  Feel free to go back and review the previous articles in the series.

How many interviews did you have and how many networking opportunities did you go on?  The goal is to get out in front of as many opportunities and people as possible who will get you to your dream.

Meeting with every possible person is not always the best approach.  You have to discern who and where your time is best spent.  The approach of throwing lots of “stuff” at the wall and seeing what sticks is not a wise strategy.

Below are questions to ask yourself after the interview or introduction that will help you to debrief from the meeting.  This can be your worksheet as you analyze the opportunity for value:

1. How did things go in general?
2. How long were you there?
3. Who did you meet with? Get names and titles.  It will aid you in getting future business from all possible contacts.
4. How long did you spend with each person?
5. How did they describe the job or opportunity to you?
6. Does this opportunity match your goals?
7. Do you think that they feel confident that you can do the job?  What gave you that impression?
8. Were dollars introduced?  If yes, what did you tell them?
9. Do you have any questions or concerns about the company/opportunity?  Or, has the company expressed any concerns about you and your abilities?  This is where you need to be able to think on your feet.  List the specific concerns.  In order to get to the root of the concern, you will probably have to ask many questions.  Use your judgment.  Are the concerns valid?  If yes, chances are this is not a match.  If no and it’s the company’s impression of you, diplomatically and professionally explain to the potential employer why you feel they have the wrong impression.  In doing this, you must be able to discuss each point they bring up and respond intelligently, without coming across as defensive.

10. Are you interested in the position/opportunity? Why?

11. Did they mention what the next step would be?
12. Did you ask for the job or express interest in the opportunity?

• Have you given any thought as to what you would need dollar-wise to accept this position?
• At what salary would you turn down the job?
• At what salary would you accept the position?
• At what salary would you accept, be happy and ready to start in two weeks?
• If you quoted salaries that are out of the range or at the high end of the range the company is willing to pay, you run the risk of not receiving an offer.
• Bonuses, health benefits, growth opportunity, pension plan and typical annual increases should be considered as you evaluate the opportunity.
• Make sure you have all of this information in your hands at the time an offer is extended.  NEVER MAKE A CHOICE SOLELY FOR MONEY.  FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS!

This is your roadmap to debrief each new opportunity presented to you.  Good luck and keep moving forward.

Next month, we’ll focus on taking the steps into entrepreneurship.

In the meantime, feel free to call me with any urgent questions.

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Betsy Cerulo is the founder and CEO of AdNet AccountNet, Inc., an integrative business solutions company offering recruiting and placement of accounting, financial, administrative, healthcare, human resources and information technology professionals and staff in the private and government sectors.  Her company and employees were recently honored as a 2013 SmartCEO Future 50 Fastest Growing Companies in the Baltimore area. Check it out on YouTube to know more about AdNet’s successful path during turbulent economic times.

Betsy can be contacted directly at 410.715.4035 or by email at bcerulo@adnetp3.com for Business Advisory Services.

Contact the AdNet team at 410.715.4040 for guidance on your next career change, interim/contractual opportunities while you are between jobs, and/or for strategic solutions to adding to your workforce team.