Ann Quasman's WomanTalkLive A more conscious conversation

Articles from the WomanTalk Live Experts – Week of May 14th

Check out the great articles and tips from the WomanTalk Live Experts this week:  

More Than Money: Fearless Foundation Action Plan: Protection – Money Mistakes for Couples
Leonard Raskin, CEO, Raskin Global
This week, we’re going to cover common mistakes couples make together with regard to their finances.  As you’ll likely notice, every mistake we’re sharing today comes down to a single underlying theme…

Relationship Recharge: Time – A Critical Factor in Relationship Survival
Lori and Bob Hollander, Relationships Work
“If a married couple with children has fifteen minutes of uninterrupted, non-logistical, non-problem-solving talk every day, I would put them in the top 5% of all married couples. It’s an extraordinary achievement.”…

The Spark Factory: Creative Confidence – A Definition
Susan Bishop, Unlocked Box
What causes one person to create with abandon and the other person to hold back their creative self? In a word…

WellPower: Push Yourself to Achieve Your Potential
Kim Fabian, Director, Maryland Metabolic Institute at Saint Agnes Hospital
As a group cycling instructor for more than 10 years, I’ll often encourage the participants in my classes to push themselves past their “edge of discomfort.” This edge is the place where…

ToolBox TomGirl: Giving Your Kitchen Cabinets a Facelift
Jo Ellen Soesbee, CEO, Reliable Repairs
If you want to do something to spiff up your kitchen, one thing you can do is to give the cabinets a facelift by painting them…

Women in History: Did You Know?
The Maryland Women’s Heritage Center
Did you know that Shirley Chisholm was…

More Than Money: Fearless Foundation Action Plan: Protection – Money Mistakes for Couples

Leonard Raskin

Last week we discussed common money mistakes women make in their romantic relationships. This week, we’re going to cover common mistakes couples make together with regard to their finances – then, on Facebook this week and next, we’ll share more about what you can do to avoid them.

As you’ll likely notice, every mistake we’re sharing today comes down to a single underlying theme (which just happens to be the first big mistake): Lack of Communication. Just remember that you don’t have to go it alone. Having a financial planner you both trust is just one way to safely open the conversation.

Mistake #1: Not Talking About Money

Talking about money can bring up all kinds of fears and anxieties for both partners. Identifying each partner’s spending/saving styles and addressing conflict areas can take you and your partner a long way toward taking control of your finances. If you want, you can use the mistakes we’ve outlined in this article to start the discussion! If you and your partner have serious conflicts over money, a few sessions with a counselor might be all you need to calm the battle field and find new ways of relating about this “hot” topic.

Mistake #2: Not Telling the Truth

If you hide purchases from your partner – or vice versa – you are not alone. In fact, many of us do this out of guilt, shame, fear – or simply because we don’t want to feel like a child. It’s important to realize that keeping money secrets is a form of financial infidelity and we all need to take a good, hard look at the level of integrity we want to bring to our partnerships.

Mistake #3: Not Carving Your Wishes in Stone 

This mistake takes us to the foundation of our protection topic – wills and other legal documents. If you and your partner neglect to spell everything out (from what your personal wishes are to who’s name is on what account), problems can arise. Should one partner die or should the two of you should decide to divorce, you need instructional documents in place to ease the stress and simplify the process for everyone involved. Taking the time to make sure your financial legal life is in order is priority for creating a financial foundation in general, and it’s even more important when two people’s finances are intertwined.

Mistake #4: Not Monitoring Your Money Together – and Monthly 

With this mistake, we’re back to budgeting – and by now you know how much we love that topic! Budgets are a great way for couples to get on the same page financially, as well as a great way to open the channels of communication on a regular basis. When you and your partner budget together, you are both equally involved in decision-making and you stay apprised of each other’s financial life. As we like to say, nothing bonds better than a budget.

Again, we invite you to use this article to start the money discussion in your household. And don’t forget to join us on Facebook this week and next as we share more about how you and your partner can avoid common financial mistakes and get closer as a couple.

To Getting Wiser,

Leonard Raskin
Women Getting Wise on Wealth from Raskin Global
443-212-1122

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To explore working with us on protecting your assets, future quality of life and more, give us call at 443-212-1122.

Raskin Global is a team of highly experienced financial planners who believe you deserve more than financial advice. You deserve to be confident and inspired so that you can take charge of your own future and make the wisest decisions possible in all areas of your life.

Relationship Recharge: Time – A Critical Factor in Relationship Survival

Lori and Bob Hollander

“If a married couple with children has fifteen minutes of uninterrupted, non-logistical, non-problem-solving talk every day, I would put them in the top 5% of all married couples. It’s an extraordinary achievement.”   -  Bill Doherty

Time is the only resource that we all have equally – 24 hours a day; 7 days a week; 365 days a year. And yet it is the resource most people feel they have the least control over. With the demands of work, children, parents, friends and community, time for our relationships gets put on the back burner.

We would never consider not spending time on our jobs or with our kids. If we failed to make our careers a priority we wouldn’t advance. If we failed to make our kids a priority they wouldn’t succeed. Yet we don’t recognize that the same is true with our partnerships. It is taken for granted that we can postpone spending time with each other. This grave mistake can lead couples to gradually and unconsciously drift apart.

When clients tell us they are not feeling connected one of the first questions we ask is, “How much time do you spend together?” More often than not we hear:

• By the time we get home from work, make dinner and put the kids to bed, we have no time.
• The kids play sports so we are out 4 nights a week and on weekends.
• Date nights fell by the wayside –we have too much to do and it’s too expensive.

Then we ask, “When was the last time the two of you went away together?”

• Just the two of us? Are you kidding?
• It’s been years.
• Not since the kids were born.

The million dollar question is: “Where do we get the time?” This is the tricky part and the answer is different for each couple. We ask our couples to go back to the drawing board remembering they have 24 hours a day and that it is a life or death matter for their relationship to figure it out.

Here are some tips that may help:

1)   Create daily routines – plan at least 15-30 minutes/day in the morning, evening or lunchtime communicating about your day with each other.

2)   Set up a weekly date without the kids – it doesn’t have to be expensive; set up a babysitting swap with friends; go out for coffee and dessert instead of a fancy dinner.

3)   Plan time to go away together – even for just one night. When our kids were young, we would go away for just one night, two or three times a year. More frequent, short trips were more rejuvenating, less expensive, and less guilt inducing than one long vacation once a year.

We would love to hear your tips and ideas for finding time in your relationship on our Facebook page.

Sign up for our monthly eNewsletter, Radical Relationships, to receive more articles from us about the Truth about Relationships.

To your relationship,

Lori & Bob Hollander
Relationships Work 

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How Close Are You to Extraordinary? Find Your Personal Starting Point on the Journey to a Lifetime of Love

“I want to improve our relationship, but I don’t know where to start.” Assessing where you and your partner are right now orients you so that you can make sure you’re driving in the right direction and won’t get lost or go down the wrong street. We want you to find your Personal Starting Point as the first step on your journey to extraordinary. 

This 48-question eWorkbook is designed specifically to help you map your journey to extraordinary. How Close are You to Extraordinary? Find Your Personal Starting Point on the Journey to a Lifetime of Love will help you clearly see where you and your partner are at this moment – and where you need to work, actively and consciously, to move your relationship forward.

The Spark Factory: Creative Confidence – A Definition

Susan Bishop

What causes one person to create with abandon and the other person to hold back their creative self? In a word: Confidence.

Specifically, CREATIVE CONFIDENCE.

Creative confidence is a term that’s been used a lot in recent discussions about innovation, design, raising creative kids, the difference between the two people scenario I just described and more. It’s especially used frequently in presentations by IDEO founder, David Kelley – a thought leader in the discussion around creativity.

Over the next few weeks, we’re going to launch into a deeper exploration of creative confidence – what it means, how to get it, how to keep it and how to pass it on.

Starting with an excellent article from the Children’s Creativity Museum, “Defining Creative Confidence,” which not only defines the term in a way that literally made me tear up (imparting the belief that “all of the ideas you create have value,” just could not be a better expression of what drives me – why I love writing Spark Factory articles and what my blog Idea Tango is all about. Communicating this TRUTH to all people – and especially to the next generation is, for me, a personal mission and life’s work.

And, not only does the Museum’s article define the term, but the author also illuminates the process this organization went through in getting to that definition and shares how it’s impacted their customer experience.

I found “Defining Creative Confidence” beyond fascinating and I want to share it with you as a way to start our discussion – I hope you enjoy!

Read “Defining Creative Confidence” by Ben Growsman-Kahn of the Children’s Creativity Museum 

To the value of ALL ideas,

Susan B.

Unlocked Box – coaching for risk-takers, box-breakers and wannabe’s.

Sign up for the eZine Guts at UnlockedBox.com and get the 10 Un-Rules of Creativity.

WellPower: Push Yourself to Achieve Your Potential

Kim Fabian, Director, Maryland Metabolic Institute
at Saint Agnes Hospital 

As a group cycling instructor for more than 10 years, I’ll often encourage the participants in my classes to push themselves past their “edge of discomfort.” This edge is the place where you feel like you’re testing your limits—your heart rate is pounding, your muscles are fatigued, and your breathing is heavy. If you were to work any harder, you’d be quite uncomfortable.

This doesn’t sound like much fun, but pushing yourself over that edge is exactly where you need to go from time to time if you ever want to see improvements in your physical performance, body shape and weight loss goals. When your body consistently performs at the same level, you can plateau. Working harder—and being able to tolerate greater amounts of discomfort—builds your cardiovascular fitness and strengthens your muscles, helping you achieve more than you originally thought was possible.

Physical muscles aren’t the only muscles we need to build. In our daily lives, breaking away from our comfortable routines and pushing past our perceived limits can strengthen the mental muscles we need to achieve amazing results in all we do, whether it’s in our work, our family or our community. All it takes is making one small step past that edge of discomfort—then taking the next step, and the next. It may be uncomfortable to take these risks, but it’s often the only way to grow and bring more of what you want into your life.

Start by identifying one area in your life or work where you feel you’re not achieving the results you desire. Then, write down the steps you could be taking to get to the next level. Usually, there is fear behind these activities that is preventing you from moving forward. Pick the easiest step from the list—the one that will challenge you just slightly to move beyond your edge of discomfort—and do it! Then move on to the next easiest item on the list—and do it, too. Repeat again and again. With each step you take, you are building the “muscle” to take on greater challenges and reach your full potential.

Go for it!

Kim Fabian & The well4life Team
well4lifeprogram.com 

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The clients in our well4life program are moving closer and closer to their potential every day by taking bold steps toward better health. Recently one wrote, “I have changed my life so much. Each day seems to have something special in it. Thus, I don’t view food in the same way anymore…good, tasty, healthy food is just a part of my day.” If you’d like to take the steps to change your lifestyle habits, we can give you the support and expertise you need. In well4life, you’ll benefit from a personal health coach, regular screenings, fitness classes, a web companion, educational classes and more. For details, visit www.well4lifeprogram.com or call our program coordinator at 410-368-3228.