Ann Quasman's WomanTalkLive A more conscious conversation

On My Mind: Emerging

“If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.”   - Author Unknown

I was thinking about this week’s topic and how we often get stuck in a rut…doing the same thing, looking the same way, and never venturing out of our comfort zone.

When it happens with me, I’m not sure if it’s because I’m lazy or if fear is holding me back.  But, it’s always one of them.

And, then, there are times when I don’t give myself credit for the forward movement.  I only look at what hasn’t been accomplished yet.  It usually takes someone on the outside to say, “Hey…look at what you’re doing!”, and, then I go, “Oh, yeah… I am.” 

I encourage you to do two things this week.  First, acknowledge what you do and get done on a regular basis.  It’s a lot.  Be sure to look in the mirror and give yourself some credit.

And…take a baby step towards making a change that brings you out of your autopilot comfort zone.  Go shopping and buy that bright tangerine top.  You don’t need another black one.  Get a new hairdo.  Take the zumba class instead of yoga.  Volunteer for a charity.  Take your kids or someone else’s to the zoo.  Speak up in an office meeting.

And, as the stars, planets, sun and moon align, the butterfly will emerge from its cocoon. You’ll be beginning anew.  All sorts of things are possible then.

On My Mind: The Joy of Being the Queen

“A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and only herself.”   - Maya Angelou

About three years ago, I read The Queen of My Self: Stepping Into Sovereignty in Midlife to prep for an interview with the author, Donna Henes.  I recently picked up the book again, and realized why I loved it so much the first time.

Author Donna Henes, aka Queen Mama Donna – the City Shaman from Exotic Brooklyn, New York, spoke to my heart. She challenges the paradigm of the three stages of a woman’s life which has traditionally been broken down into the young woman (the virgin), the nurturer (the mother), and the wise elder (the crone). In between, the nurturer and the crone, Mama Donna adds the midlife “Queen” to the paradigm.

The Queen has a whole new lifetime ahead of her to let her self truly blossom. It’s the time when she can remember who she is, what gifts she brings, and start doing what will allow her to enjoy the fruits of an influential, passionate and powerful maturity.

Whoo hoo! Mama Donna makes it sound like so much fun! And, we thought we were supposed to dread getting more mature. Not a chance, sister!

And, on another note…Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms and to all women who share their nurturing spirit with the world.

On My Mind: How Can You Be Fearless?

“If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old.  You will just keep growing.”  Gail Sheehy

I remember thinking years ago that there would come a day when I knew all I needed to know.  That I would just somehow “get” everything I needed and that I would finally graduate and become totally knowledgeable in life’s lessons.  Naive, I know.  That’s way before I understood that you never get to that place unless you just turn off the lights and all input.  I wasn’t ready to turn off the lights or the input and like Gail Sheehy says above, just about every day proves to be an awakening.

About a year ago, I had one of those weekends, too.  I was lucky to be able to attend the kickoff of the Awesome Women Hub Tour right here in Baltimore.  The brainchild of Robin Rice, Awesome Women Hub was a traveling Re-Think Tank – pulling together a group of women to re-think in a spirit of true collaboration.  As Robin says,

“For women, how we do what we do, and who we do it with, is just as important as what comes of our efforts. We intuitively know this and we yearn to live by it. Today there are emerging and effective ways for us to live this out. We are dreaming them together.”

So, we had an incredible weekend talking, discussing, sharing, visioning, dancing, singing, laughing and playing.  We were asked, “What does the world need next?”  Based on what we know deep down in our inner core, how should we be living our lives, doing our businesses, raising our families and making this world a better place?

We were asked what we are willing to do to help build on this model and how can we bring our best self and best gift to the world?  How can we be fearless?  And, here’s what we came up with – a music video that says it all set to the beautiful music of Claudia Carawan’s song, Fearless:

I’ll push outside the comfort zone
Remembering I’m not alone
I’ll follow the path of my heart
and make my life a work of art
Call me fearless…  I am fearless.
I’m stronger than I realized!  I am fearless!

words & music Claudia Carawan
copyright  August  2008 Heart Over the Bar publishing

My first music video?  Yep.  My last?  Not sure!  But, I love the message in this one.

What’s even more amazing is that out of that weekend, twenty incredible women came together to participate in the very first Heal My Voice Book Circle Project.  The theme of the first book?  Fearlessness, of course!  And, Fearless Voices: True Stories by Courageous Women shares the stories of how these women are leading more fearless lives.

I encourage you…tap into a tribe of women, gather together and ask, “What does the world need next?  What can I share fearlessly with the world?”

And, be prepared to create some magic.

On My Mind: Help! I’m Stuck!

Ever get stuck? When everything you want to do feels like it weighs a ton and you can’t begin to budge? Momentarily uninspired?

For me, those times come when I’m in information overload and everything I need or want to do is classified as “Priority A”. I sit there staring at the list thinking….“How can every thing on this fricking list be an ‘A’?” And, sometimes, it just is. And…it’s over and above everything else I generally do.

Major surgery required on the list. Decisions to be made. Stop. Breathe.

When I focus on the whole list…I want to vomit. When I focus on one item to complete, I can do it if I don’t think about the other stuff on the list. It’s that whole list that can get me tied in a knot.

So, I holler out to the WomanTalk Live Creativity Expert and Coach, Susan Bishop of Unlocked Box and gently say, “HELLLPPP!!!” Well, maybe not so gently. And, she helps get me back on track. Thank you, Susan!

Inspiration cannot be forced.

As Tanya Wheway says, “Sometimes it simply comes like a bolt out of the blue; at other times it totally refuses to come out to play. There are times, however, when we can cajole it into action by freeing our minds – listening to some beautiful music, spending time in a beautiful garden, meditating, reading, exposing ourselves to a new environment or spending time with positive, passionate and creative people.”

Thank goodness I have access to all of those things.

Now, back to work.

On My Mind: Painting Your Toenails Can Be Dangerous – Who Knew?

This past weekend was way more than full.  It wasn’t one of those restful weekends.  Every minute was packed taking care of business, family stuff and whatever.

However, at one moment, I glanced at my toes (real warm weather will make you do that) and everything stopped…I had to give myself a pedicure.  No time for appointments.  The weather was going to stay warm and those toes were in no condition to be seen in public without covering.

So, I stopped everything and began to work away at cleaning those babies up.  And, they were looking good with OPI’s Dulce De Leche.

However, as I hoisted my foot up on the stool to do the final touch and shifted my weight a little to make some room, my world went out from under me.  Or, rather the stool did.

I went flying backwards, hit my head on the edge of a wall and saw stars.  Literally.    Moaning and groaning, I reached back to touch my head, now spewing blood, and let out a shriek that could have been heard throughout the Mid-Atlantic.

So, in the car we go to one of those stand alone emergency clinics where they promptly put six stiches in my head and sent me on my way.

I’ve heard all those stats about accidents at home.  That certainly qualified.  But, who knew that painting your toenails could be so dangerous?

My sister said, “Someone or something wants you to slow down, and this is how they make sure you do it when you don’t do it yourself.”  Geeeeezzz. 

I hate it when she’s right.