WTL 5: Meet Evelyn Kalinosky

     Five provocative questions answered by an inspiring and fabulous woman  – a woman with something to say.

Meet Evelyn Kalinosky

Evelyn Kalinosky is a catalyst and mentor for business women in midlife transition. She specializes in working with women age 40 forward who are ready to claim – or reclaim – their Sacred Capital. Her passion is to create a new paradigm in how we think about aging, specifically, how we think about women aging.

Her award-winning Inner Affluence Blog has received top honors the past 3 consecutive years as “Best Coaching Blog” by the School of Coaching Mastery. Her writing has been featured in ForbesWoman, Generation Fabulous, and Boomer Café, and she hosts a weekly radio show for midlife women on the Creating Calm Network.  Evelyn is a speaker, published author and poet. Learn more about her at www.InnerAffluence.com.

People would be surprised to know that:  I’m really an introvert, which was actually quite a surprise to me because I always thought I was an extrovert. I love people, love speaking to both small and large groups, love being part of social situations, but I also need a lot of alone time to recharge.  I wrote a blog post about this very thing: 17 Random Things I’ve Never Told You About This Midlife Woman. Lots of surprises and tongue-in-cheek revelations.

The WTL 5:

What’s the conversation that changed your life?

It wasn’t one conversation that changed my life. It’s all the conversations I’ve had with business women who are navigating the complex, often uncertain waters of midlife with grace and fierceness. They are charting new territories, and I’m thrilled to part of their transformation.

I’ve learned so much just by listening to their stories. Every woman has a unique and compelling story that has brought her to this point in her life. And every woman has a unique and compelling story about what is yet to be. 

What are you most conscious of today?

The need to put myself first, without all the unnecessary baggage that comes with this intention. I believe women are hard-wired to please, and I was no different. I consider myself a “recovering people-pleaser” because it’s so ingrained in us as women, and as a culture, so I remind myself often that it’s okay – in fact, it’s mandatory – that I put myself at the top of my priority list.

It’s no longer enough to live a mediocre life or to live someone else’s life. Living with intention enables me to be of service to others in the highest way possible. 

What part of you have you yet to give voice to?

The voice that enables me to be fully human. The voice that expresses strength, hope, passion, vulnerability, fear, resilience.  Until a serious illness became part of my life eight years ago I was afraid to be vulnerable – to give voice to that part of me out of fear I would seem weak or even worse, ungrateful. As I’ve aged, and as a result of being ill, I’ve been given the gift of freedom that allows all facets of who I am to be heard and honored.

I’ve learned that it’s possible to be an inspiration and effect change by being fully human, by not attaching judgment on any one emotion or state of being. It’s still a work in progress, though, giving full voice to myself.

What’s the conversation women need to be having collectively?

I believe we need to be having more conversation around what it means to live a fully empowered life – both in our professional and personal worlds. Women still struggle with the word “power” largely because of the stereotypical definitions of what that means. Power isn’t masculine or feminine. Power is neutral. Being fully empowered is about letting go of tolerations, letting go of lies we tell ourselves about who we are and what we want. It’s about giving ourselves permission to be SELFish and live out our soul’s purpose.

We shy away from putting ourselves first – we take care of everyone and everything else and then if there’s time, which there usually isn’t, we’ll focus on our needs.

We need a new dialogue about this. 

What needs to be said bigger, louder, stronger?

Transformation is an act of [R]evolution at the cellular level. Women need to jettison their old, outdated stories that stick to them like surgeon’s glue, that hold them fast to people, places and beliefs that no longer belong to them. It’s time for women to write a whole new story for their lives. One that incorporates their soul’s desire – their Sacred Capital.

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Thank you, Evelyn, for sharing your powerful voice

with WomanTalk Live.