On My Mind: Reinvention – Choosing What Matters to You

It’s finally hit home with me. We say it all the time and I’m not quite sure we believe it, but I do now. CHANGE is good – even when it might be challenging to leave things the way they are, for us to stay the way we are, and to just settle into our comfort zones.

Of course, you can do all of those things. Comfort zones can be comfortable until they aren’t – when that voice within reminds you that there is something else that could be the icing on the cake for you if you’d… CHANGE.

So, to make it more appetizing, I like the words “transition” and “reinvention.” I like the action words “expand” and “evolve” – all of them sounding so much more exciting and inviting than “change.” In fact, they sound like things I want to do with gusto.

And, that’s exactly what’s happened for me over the past year and a half. Headed into my second brand New Year in Vermont, I finally quit hitting the snooze button and got excited – really excited – about what’s next for me. It’s all about saying YES to trying new things, and putting my old “talents” by the side or where I can get them if I need them so I can fully jump into the new. To try things out to find out… is this for me??? 

So for now I am saying NO to doing radio shows, podcasts, teaching classes, leading retreats, and serving on too many boards and/or committees. I am saying NO to spending any more time on home decorating unless we see some artwork we can’t live without. I am saying NO to spending time with people I really don’t want to hang around, who throw out toxic energy, or are energy vampires. NO! NO! NO!

I am saying NO to anyone who wants to “pick my brain.” I’ve always despised those words – they sound painful to me. Pick. My. Brain. OUCH! Most of the time I am happy to share thoughts or ideas with people, but that has its limits when it turns into a long session of brain picking. It’s about boundaries, you know?

I am saying NO to things that could possibly interfere with activities I have sanctioned as “Won’t Miss” activities – having dinner with Bob most nights of the week, Friday date night, morning yoga/pilates sessions, biking time in good weather.

You might think that I’m saying NO to lots of things but that’s because I’m saying YES YES YES to so many other things. My “word” for 2016 is REINVENTION. It’s about discovering parts of me I hadn’t allowed to surface and expanding other sides of me that have not made an appearance.

My YES list includes but is not limited to:

Taking more art classes – I’ll be finishing up my third art class soon and have already registered for a Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain class and another clay class. There is so much that is coming out of these creative ventures.

Cooking classes – I love to cook and I love to try new things and three cooking classes are on tap for the first quarter.

Finding my Wild Woman – Okay, I have definitely touched base with her on more than one occasion since we moved. She’s freer, calmer, more compassionate than she was several years ago. I want to know more of her. I’ve signed up for a class at Dartmouth called “Wild Woman” and our text is Clarissa Pinkola Estes’  book, Women Who Run with the Wolves. When I first read that book, it was shortly after it was published in 1992. I was still a corporate minion at the time – an unhappy one. I did not grasp this book. Now, I am ready to run with the pack and howl, so I am really looking forward to starting this ten-week class at the end of January.

More gardening and… beekeeping??? – Well, maybe. The gardening is a definite because I have dreams about what I want to continue and build upon from this past summer. The beekeeping will be in some fashion. I’ll be working with a group of people who are very knowledgeable and I’ll either jump in and learn to do it, too, or allow an experienced keeper to set up a hive that can be sustained from my gardens. Either way, I love the idea of having a garden beneficial to bees, butterflies and humming birds.

Staying healthy – Doing all the things I can to support this fabulous (yes, I said it) body that I have. No longer will I treat my car better than I do myself. I’m getting regular checkups, eating healthy stuff, drinking plenty of water, taking my supplements, drinking plenty of good wine, and getting movement into every day. I’m getting 7 ½-8 hours of sleep each night and taking a nap if I feel like I need one. At this point of my life, I am on no medications and that always surprises my doctors when I tell them that. I’d like to stay that way as long as I can. And, I like feeling good.

Joining a book group – I was recently invited to join a well-established book group. Since I want to read more, this seems like a good way to get me into that groove – plus meet new people and have a chance to be in a discussion group. I’m looking forward to my first gathering in mid-January.

Writing – Over the past many years, I’ve gotten into the discipline of writing at least a weekly blog post and that’s continuing. It’s such an incredible way to share information, do some inner healing, and perhaps write something that may be just the thing that someone else is needing to hear. It’s almost like a journal for me and once I start writing, I could keep on going as things bubble to the surface.

Identifying my tribe – It’s always scary to move somewhere new and not know anyone. I had my Baltimore tribe – and I love them still and miss them very much. But, I need a tribe up here and it’s slowly coming together in the most magical way. I don’t think you can rush the tribe thing. I think it forms for reasons known and unknown – the members just start connecting and the right people show up. I’m feeling pretty blessed about this right now.

Volunteering – Some of this will be involved with creative arts around our town and the other will be with the causes that are closest to my heart – working in a capacity to help sexual assault and domestic violence survivors. Unfortunately, there is a need for this in every community and it’s where I am most drawn.

So that’s my reinvention/expansion list for 2016 and I am pumped. I’m leaving a lot behind – maybe permanently, maybe temporarily. But what has me excited the most is the OPENING UP and ALLOWING.

I urge you to not think only about goals you feel you have to do for 2016. Think about your own reinvention. Think about what you want your life to look like – what happiness and contentment mean to you – what you want to do for YOU so you can expand into a life that fills you up instead of sucking you dry.

Pursue you. You’re soooo worth it. And, if you need some help with jumping into your reinvention, transition and transformation, check out these resources:

• The Mega Reinvention 2016 online video conference, is taking place January 2^nd-31^st, 2016 at convenient, non-working times of day. This program is geared primarily to Boomer and Gen Xrs who are seeking a career or life pivot because they are unhappy, unfulfilled, have aspirations to do something else, or want to invent a new lifestyle for retirement. Our retirement looks nothing like our parent’s retirement and there’s a whole lot of time for creating a whole new you. This could be your kickstart!  To sweeten the pot, here’s a deal for you – a coupon code worth 50% off the ticket price. Read more about the conference. When you go to the registration page, be sure to use Coupon Code HTRW4321 for your savings. I’ll be leading a panel discussion at one of the sessions, so I’ll see you there!

• Even AARP knows that the group of people who are looking at slowing down or retiring are not like their parents. According to one of their surveys, 65% of Americans ages 40-59 say they expect to be more active at 60-plus than their parents were. 50% of folks 40-59 say they are missing something in their lives, and 21 million U.S. residents 50-70 are preparing to pursue an encore career. AARP has developed Life Reimagined, a program to help you create your brightest future around work, well-being, and relationships. You can live the life you’ve always wanted – check it out.

Let me hear from you – what’s bubbling to the surface for you? What part of you is begging for your attention? I think we can encourage each other along the way, so let’s keep figuring this out!

It’s a whole new year. And, it’s a whole new world for us.