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Articles from the WomanTalk Live Experts: Week of September 30th
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Check out the great articles and tips from the WomanTalk Live Experts this week:
The Spark Factory: Quoting Seth Godin – Taking the Risk of Sharing YOUR Wisdom
Susan Bishop, Unlocked Box
Not that long ago, I wrote a post on Seth Godin’s new book, The Icarus Deception…ToolBox TomGirl: Are You Winterized?
Jo Ellen Soesbee, CEO, ToolBox TomGirl, Inc.
Have you given any thought to the upcoming winter weather?…More Than Money: Money Messages Past – Shifting Your Beliefs
Leonard Raskin, CEO, Raskin Global
Last week, we asked you to write down all the messages you received about money growing up…Relationship Recharge: Should You Stay or Go After An Affair?
Lori & Bob Hollander, Relationships Work
If your spouse had an affair would you leave him?…Women in History: Did You Know?
The Maryland Women’s Heritage Center
What Maryland physician was considered a pioneer in the birth control movement?… -
The Spark Factory: Quoting Seth Godin – Taking the Risk of Sharing YOUR Wisdom
Susan BishopNot that long ago, I wrote a post on Seth Godin’s new book, The Icarus Deception. The post was full of quotes I loved from the book and I enjoyed writing it immensely. It also got a good response and I felt GREAT about that – at least, for a minute.
Because a day or so later I was listening to a podcast interview with Godin and was about to pull up my Twitter and tweet out a quote when I had a big, fat ah-ha moment.
I thought:
Am I going to spend my life quoting OTHER people who are sticking their necks out, or am I going to stick my own neck out?
In other words:
Quoting a risk taker does not mean YOU’RE a risk taker.
And:
Quoting someone, period, doesn’t mean you’re actually forwarding the conversation. It means you are repeating what’s already been said.
I realized that if I really believe what I say I do about creativity and creating, I can’t waste my time quoting Seth Godin. I need to quote Susan Bishop.
All you have to do is look around on social media to see that quoting others is kind of an epidemic. It’s not that it’s not inspiring or fun or even helpful to share quotes. But doing that (if you’re willing to take a really hard look) is also a way of hiding.
I’m NOT saying I’m not going to quote other people any more. I do know that there is value in that and I love doing it. But I’m just going to be more conscious of what I want to say and how I want to say it and of going ahead and saying it.
Almost every idea in Seth Godin’s book is something I’ve wanted to write about myself in an book I titled Pirate School a long, long time ago. But Godin actually wrote The Icarus Deception and I actually didn’t write Pirate School.
It’s very likely that you also have had ideas or created work that you’ve wanted to share and didn’t, and then, someone else beat you to the punch. I think this happens to all of us – because we are all wise and because we all have something to say.
So, I’m just suggesting that in midst of sharing other people’s work and ideas, we think about sharing our own just a little more often – if not a heck of a lot more often. I know from personal experience that sharing even the smallest insight can cause a fear so big it can take up to 30 minutes to write just 140 characters. But that 30 minutes is probably the most valuable saboteur navigation training I get all week.
I’m just going to keep at it, and I hope you will, too.
To forwarding the conversation instead of repeating it,
Susan B.
Unlocked Box – coaching for risk-takers, box-breakers and wannabe’s. Sign up for the eZine Guts at UnlockedBox.com and get the 10 Un-Rules of Creativity.
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ToolBox TomGirl: Are You Winterized?
Jo Ellen SoesbeeHave you given any thought to the upcoming winter weather? I know that I have heard rumors that the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting a bad winter for us. Who knows, it could be a rumor, but then again, it could be the truth. Either way, a smart woman wants to be prepared.
So, besides getting your best boots, coat, gloves and hat ready, I want you to winterize your home. You need to be able to snuggle up inside when you have to. I want you safe and warm. I also want you to save money so that you can afford those awesome new boots. So, here are some things I want you to do around your house to make it draft-free, more economical, (saving on your BGE bill so you can buy that awesome pair of winter boots), or that are just plain necessary in the long run.
- Participate in the $100 energy audit by BGE is a deal. Go online and sign up. You get some $300-$400 worth of freebies in the end so you actually save money and you learn what needs to be improved around your house. It is worth it! http://www.bgesmartenergy.com/residential/home-performance-energy-star
- Install a programmable thermostat to save on energy at night and when you are not home during the day.
- Caulk and weather strip doors and windows.
- Caulk and seal leaks around plumbing, duct work, electrical wires coming through walls, floors, ceilings and any outside-to-inside areas.
- Install foam gaskets behind outlet covers and switch plates. (they come precut to fit each size outlet)
- During the winter, keep the draperies and shades on your south-facing windows open during the day to let the sunlight into your house and close them at night.
- Check for open fireplace dampers.
- Wash only full loads of clothes and dishes to save on energy.
- Air-dry your dishes in the dishwasher instead of using the drying cycle.
- Turn off the exhaust fans in the kitchen and bath 20 minutes after you are done cooking or bathing.
- Clean snow off overhangs so that it does not accumulate and cause too much weight on the structure.
- Shovel walkways and steps frequently so the snow does not pile up and become too heavy for you to work with. Waiting too long puts a strain on your heart and back.
- Check now to be sure your window ice scraper, generator, snow blower, shovel, ice melt, salt, etc. are all there and are all in working condition and easy accessible. Do NOT wait for the first snow to arrive.
- Check to be sure your hat, gloves, boots, scarf, and coat are the latest style and fit properly. A DIY woman wants to be well-prepared as she is shoveling her walkway and talking to the news media about why she was the ONLY one in the neighborhood so prepared. (smile)
To women holding hammers,
Jo Ellen Soesbee
The ToolBox TomGirl, LLC***
Do you want to learn home repairs and perhaps become a ToolBox TomGirl? Do you have a nagging home repair you want done and you DON’T want to mess with it? Do you have a need for a facility maintenance person on site at your place of business? Do you need a guest speaker or presenter? If the answer to any of those questions is “YES” you are going to enjoy speaking with us.
Call for details. The ToolBox TomGirl is available to help you around your house, business, or social event. Contact Jo Ellen at 443-286-6923 or [email protected].
Sign up for Jo Ellen’s eNewsletter and educate yourself one home repair at a time.
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More Than Money: Money Messages Past – Shifting Your Beliefs
Leonard RaskinLast week, we asked you to write down all the messages you received about money growing up. We also asked you not to make any judgments, but rather, to simply sit with your list and see what comes up.
Now that you’ve done that, it’s time to look at your list of money beliefs with a more critical eye. Specifically, it’s time to decide which money messages from the past are serving you and your goals, and which are not.
For example: If you received the message that money is abundant and that belief has helped you fearlessly budget and invest for your future, then that belief is likely serving you well. However, if you received the message that money is abundant and that belief has prevented you from doing anything to ensure your future financial security, you may want to adjust that belief just a bit. Perhaps to something like: Money is abundant and that means I have the resources to invest in my future right now.
We used “money is abundant” as our example, because it seems positive on the surface, yet different people will take different actions based on that same belief. So, the trick is to look hard at which beliefs are triggering behaviors that support your financial goals and which are in your way of achieving them.
Once you’ve decided which beliefs you want to keep, it’s important to become very conscious about adopting those beliefs “officially.” It’s one thing to have them working for you in your unconscious mind, and quite another to truly draw the belief to the surface.
THIS WEEK: From your list of money beliefs, choose those you want to keep and write them down on another piece of paper. Post that piece of paper somewhere visible.
Next, tackle the beliefs that are not serving you. For each of these:
- Write down the negative behaviors the belief has been causing.
- Then, write down the behaviors you would prefer to adopt.
- Ask yourself: What would I need to believe instead of (old belief) in order to (preferred behavior)?
- Re-write this new belief until you have a version that truly resonates with you – one that makes you excited to adopt the new belief.
- Finally, add your new money belief to your list of keeper beliefs – and revisit it throughout this week.
Taking these simple steps, even if your behavior doesn’t shift right away, can be the start of making big changes in your financial life. Trust the process and see what happens.
To getting wiser,
Leonard Raskin
Women Getting Wise on Wealth from Raskin Global
443-212-1122***
Get the TOP 10 FEMALE FEARS ABOUT MONEY absolutely FREE when you enter your email address on our website (just look for the GET RICH IN KNOWLEDGE box at the top right).
We’ll also keep you up-to-date on our popular FREE seminar series – so visit www.WomenGettingWiseonWealth.com today!
Raskin Global is a team of highly experienced financial planners who believe you deserve more than financial advice. You deserve to be confident and inspired so that you can take charge of your own future and make the wisest decisions possible in all areas of your life. To talk with us about all the ways you can take charge of your finances and create the life you want, give us call at 443-212-1122.
Leonard P. Raskin, Registered Representative and Financial Advisor of Park Avenue Securities, LLC (PAS), 954 Ridgebrook Road, Suite 300, Sparks, MD 21152. Securities products/services and advisory services are offered through PAS, a registered broker-dealer and investment advisor, (410)828-5400. Field Representative, The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America (Guardian), New York, New York. PAS is an indirect, wholly-owned subsidiary of Guardian. Raskin Global is not an affiliate or subsidiary of PAS or Guardian. PAS is a member of FINRA, SIPC.
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Relationship Recharge: Should You Stay or Go After An Affair?
Lori & Bob HollanderIf your spouse had an affair would you leave him?
Many people would answer a resounding “yes.” After all, how could anyone even consider staying in a relationship after such a huge breach of trust? Wouldn’t a person who chose to work on the marriage be considered weak?
Ask anyone who has been through this and you will learn that the answer to this question is not as simple as it seems. It’s truly impossible to imagine what it would be like to find out that your husband or wife had an affair unless you experienced it yourself.
The initial feelings of shock, pain and devastation that come with betrayal do not erase the fact that the very person who has hurt you is someone you love and have built a life with. You may have kids, a house, close friends, in-laws and extended family you are close to. The thought of losing the life you have known is terrifying. Questions abound about your partner and the details of the affair, whether emotional or physical. You question if you really knew the person you have been closest to. And you question yourself, wondering what you did wrong.
Deciding whether to stay or go is one of the toughest decisions a person will ever make. The impact is emotional, physical, psychological, financial and spiritual. If children are involved the situation becomes even more complicated as their wellbeing is considered. The thought of divorce may loom as fear of the future sets in. None of the options are very appealing. Staying with someone who betrayed your trust or becoming single, being a single parent, not seeing your children every day, dating, starting over.
So what should you do? Bob and I strongly believe that before you consider separation or divorce you should give the relationship a chance. We don’t look at it as choosing to “stay” in the marriage. We look at it as “staying in uncertainty” to do couples counseling that help determine if the marriage can be saved.
If your partner is remorseful; if he is willing to “do anything” to repair the relationship; if he is willing to “own” the betrayal, go to couples counseling and gain insight into what happened; if he’ll commit to improving communication and creating a new and more intimate relationship, then it is worth giving it a try.
So yes, couples can heal from affairs. We have worked with many of them. And we can tell you the emotional work that happens in our office is not for the faint of heart. The easy decision is to leave and run away from the strong emotions that are created by betrayal. It takes tremendous strength to “not leave,” see if the marriage can be repaired, and a new and deeper intimacy discovered.
We would love to hear your thoughts about “Healing After an Affair” this week on our Facebook page.
Sign up for our monthly eNewsletter, Radical Relationships, to receive more tips and articles from us about relationships.
To Your Extraordinary Relationship,
Lori and Bob Hollander
Relationships Work
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