What Can Men Do?
Saturday, July 7, 2012Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Neil Irvin
As a sexual assault survivor and a board member for the Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault, one of the things I have noticed over the years is that the overwhelming majority of people who work in the field of sexual assault prevention or in providing services for victims and survivors are women. With the exception of law enforcement, I’ve wondered… where are the men? My guest joined me to talk about the efforts being made by his organization to enlist boys and men to take an active stand against violence, especially violence against women. Some of the issues we discussed are “why men should care about rape” and the cultural changes that must take place around what it means to “be a man.” Tune in to be inspired about the work being done by MCSR and be sure to share the message with other men you know.
Guest: Neil Irvin, Executive Director, Men Can Stop Rape
This is an awesome group. Men Can Stop Rape (@mencanstoprape) and others like it really foster the partnership aspect of how men should be seen as part of the solution, not the problem to ending sexual violence against women.
Men are great protectors. This group seems committed to the natural strengths men do have. When I wrote my teen romance, about a girl with Rape Related PTSD, (Almost, by Anne Eliot) I did not know about groups like this. I found out after, that a story that has a boy who stops a rape is rare. Many moms of good boys, and future men, were happy I had that in the story and hoped their sons would do the same and sparked some good conversations at home. That’s how I found this group–looking around for groups that did this an more. My daughter and I were floored by the kind, hard work Men Can Stop Rape do to foster and help end sexual violence in big cities. How they are committed to ending rape culture. Not by putting down all men and boys as perpetrators or future problems, not by making them feel bad or unable to participate as many men are lost or unwanted as to where they fit in rape activism. This group seems to be building up expectations, growing who these men and boys are as men. Best of all, how they can step up and protect a a girl who is in a vulnerable situation.I also learned from this group, that all moms, sisters, aunts, cousins–can have a simple conversation with the young men in their lives. We often don’t sit at the dinner table and say, ‘HEY, what would you do if you saw a drunk girl you hardly knew in trouble at a party’? That one conversation, setting up what they would do, and how you expect them to step in at all costs, can and will stop a future rape. Thanks for featuring this group. I wish there were one like them in every city. Best Anne Eliot
Anne, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and experience here. I love this group and all of the groups that are starting to focus on prevention in the way Men Can Stop Rape does – teaching young men what healthy masculinity is and changing long held cultural beliefs and behaviors. Another organization that I love is Green Dot – working on the very same thing mainly on college campuses. And, the org that I serve on the board for, MCASA, has the Speak Up! Speak Out! trainings focused on prevention and bystander intervention. I think it will make a difference – we just need to have their good work available to all who need it. I’ll have to check out your book! Thanks, Anne, for the work that you do!